There I was, last night musing—isn’t musing cool? So much more elegant and sophisticated than merely thinking and I often find, a good deal less painful.
“Mmmm…” she mused intelligently, nibbling the leg of her glasses, a sardonic frown playing thoughtfully about her attractive, lightly furrowed eyebrows, “will I have another marshmallow?”
Anyway, there I was musing last night over the state of my expanding waistline. “Why? Why? Why?” I pondered—pondering is fun too but a little too casual for my purposes last night, so I went back to musing. I finished my chips and chocolate bar in a state of confusion. “What’s going wrong with my glands?” Alarmed and desperately seeking focus, I rushed off to the kitchen to graze on some of last nights leftovers.
Then it occurred to me!
Of course! That’s it!
I need to drink more water and watch telly sitting on a pilates ball!!!
Well my darlings the sorry truth of the matter is that little ole’ Arty shrew is an addict!
“Hello, My name is Arty Shrew and I’m a MORE addict!”
Yes! I really am! I am completely addicted to MORE. More food, more drink, more fun, more shoes, more exercise (when I do it!) more telly, yes even…more work, more earings, more air, more bubble wrap, more tea (LOTS more)! MORE, MORE give me MORE!
You name it I want more!
Moderation in all things…hmmmm! Isn’t moderation something strict to do with exams?
Moderation-schmoderation – I’m with Olvier Twist “Please Sir can I have some MORE”! Mind you the poor boy DID have an excuse, unlike some others, not a million miles away…ahem!
Mama Shrew amazes me. She will have 2 squares of a chocolate bar, neatly fold it up and say “Lets put it away for tomorrow.”
“Noooooo don’t put it away..” I cry silently, dying of disappointment. Sometimes I go to visit her weeks later and the same bar is still sitting there in the cupboard – WHAT the…?? She assures me it’s another one but I think she’s only saying that to make me feel less of a pig – dear soul, she’s like that.
Phrases you will never hear Me say…
Let’s put it away for tomorrow
No really – half that much
Just give me 1 small potato
No pudding thanks – I’m full
I’ll just have the green salad
I’m saving mine for later
Small fries – actually no fries thanks
Phrases I say often..
Ok just another
Let’s finish the packet
Anyone for seconds?
Up-size mine please
My I see the pudding menu?
I’ll take 10 of those
Aren’t you going to eat that? Pass it ‘ere!
Well I’m off to eat my chocolate cereal and cream, buttered toast and marmalade whilst sitting on my pilates ball.
No seriously, I’m having a small bowl of cereal and fruit – I SOOO AM!!!!
